Line & Length

The Fine Print: business card mania + bonus rant

Some dos and don’ts from Uncle Dman

Are you all sitting comfortably children? Good.

Kids, if it hasn’t happened already, it will soon.  Someone is going to hand you a business card and when they do, you’re going to be expected to treat it with respect.  How? Try taking it in both hands, pause as your eyes scan the content, look up, smile, thank them and carefully place in your business card holder or wallet.  Job done.

Interestingly, at some point, someone will hand you a business card and you won’t have to remember the instructions Uncle Dman has given you because you’ll be genuinely impressed by them, their business and their outlook because… you will have been impressed, genuinely impressed by their card.

This impressive card will sport a strong logo, impressive credentials, bold design and it will be as resilient, sturdy and as unyielding as you would hope to be in the negotiation arena.

The world is changing fast and people are saying two things:

1)   Flimsy, inexpensive business cards are fine, they do the trick.

2)   People only care about the details on the card which they can capture on their mobile device and store it there.

As one we cry, “bullsh*t!”

When someone hands you a smartly designed business card that is sturdy enough to shelter you from a tsunami, you notice.  Sure, you’re going to hand it straight back after capturing this modern art masterpiece on your device but not before muttering, “you magnificent bastard… or bitch”.

At Train’s suggestion we’re going to demonstrate this point with help from our friend Christian Bale as the unhinged, upwardly mobile, business card-obsessed psycho, Patrick Bateman.

Classic Rants #7

Business card mania

L&L brains trust (Ha!)

This issue’s unnervingly quiet, classic rant is exhumed from the 2000 classic, American Psycho, where Christian Bale’s nut-bag corporate character, Patrick Bateman, is driven to the edge by the business card one-upmanship displayed by a doomed colleague. 

Embrace the crazy here.

If you feel the need to push colleagues over the edge with truly wonderful personalised stationery, contact the Line & Length offices and…watch your back.

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